Clean Shower Technology

I watched the VP debate last week and to my dismay, both candidates voiced support for clean coal technology.  I expected this from Mrs. "Global Warming Isn't Man Made," but I was surprised to hear it from Joe Biden.   This technology basically consists of washing the coal and storing the carbon by-products.  OK, it's a little more complicated.  But no less harmful.

Cleaning coal was about the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of.  Until I was faced with an even bigger challenge.

Cleaning my bathroom.

    

When I decided to go green, I changed out all of my chemical cleaners with earth-friendly ones. I felt so good that I was no longer exposing myself, my husband or my dog to harsh chlorines and bleaches.  My counters smelled like grapefruits and melons; my mirrors sparkled with scents of fresh rain; and my shower was . . . moldy.

I know!  It's gross.  But my bathroom gets no natural light, so once you shut it down for the day, it becomes a mold playground.  I tried a "healthy alternative" spray called Daily Shower, but it didn't work. I tried cleaning it more frequently, but that didn't seem to be cutting it either. And my latest cleaner was a summer cucumber-scented failure.  

So I caved.   I went out and bought something I swore I would never buy.

Tilex.

The guilt consumed every inch of me as I put it in my reusable shopping bag.  What a hypocrite! Even the bag screamed at me, "What are you doing??"  

I got home and pulled out the nasty bottle, flung open the shower curtain and got to work. I sprayed till the bottle was almost empty. I didn't even rinse and the grout was already turning white.

Then my nose started to burn.

I had to escape.  The fumes were gagging me.  John evacuated his office with a shriveled up nose.  We flung open the windows but to no avail.  We decided to get Bailey out of there.   When we came back an hour later, the whole building smelled like the city pool on 23rd Street.

It took days for the smell to go away.  I could only imagine what it was doing to our brain cells, let alone the pipes, ground water, and whatever else it touched.  However, the shower head, tub and curtain remained mold-free.

I'm investigating better, greener alternatives.  Meanwhile, before any candidate thinks about committing our country to clean coal technology, I suggest they come up with a safe, environmentally friendly way to clean my shower.